The one decision that most of us put off talking about is the one that has to do with the inevitable day when we're not here to make those decisions together. The discussion of dying and the decisions that have to be made by the surviving partner and children are difficult ones, but they will have to be made. And most families that have gone through that process will tell everyone that it is far better to make those decisions far in advance of death when the mind is clearer and the emotions aren't so overwhelming. That is what pre-planning final arrangements is about. It is for you to carry out your wishes and for your family not to be burdened of deciding what you wanted. Pre-planning is about love.
In the past, pre-planning final arrangements wasn't as important as it is today.
Final arrangements used to be nearly the same for every person in a family or community, from the schedule of events, to the funeral home, to the hymns, to the cemetery. For better or worse, things are a lot more complicated today.
There are many choices, costs and personal expressions to choose from, and final arrangement planning has become important, not only for yourself, but for your family and friends as well. By pre-planning, you alleviate the stress that would otherwise be placed on your loved ones and family at the time of one of their worst life experiences. It can also establish a budget and even have a pre-funding plan included. We hope that this section will help you understand the importance of pre-planning and give you the information to make the proper choices for you and your family.
Why Pre-Plan Final Arrangements?
Depending upon their circumstances, people are motivated to pre-plan and pre-fund for a variety of reasons. Here are some of the most compelling.
Pre-arranging enables us to make our wishes known to our family, ensuring that those wishes can be carried out, even if unforeseen medical expenses deplete our savings.
Pre-arranging allows for families to take the time they need to carefully consider their options without the scheduling pressure and emotional trauma that occurs following the death.
Pre-arranging allows us to consider the thoughts and feelings of all family members, not just those who happen to be present at the time of death.
As an essential component of budgeting and estate planning, pre-arranging allows families to create a memorial service and funeral that captures their wishes, and allows families to anticipate the cost of funerals and plan for them.
Purchasing final expense insurance policies, or pre-need funeral insurance, can give many families the chance to fund their final expenses over time through affordable insurance payments. These specialized insurance policies are designed for older adults who can gain peace of mind knowing that their funerals will be paid for, and that their families will be spared any financial burden.
Decisions you can make when you Pre-Plan
Burial, cremation or entombment (above ground)
Type of farewell - Family, Family and Friends and/or Community Gathering
Type of service (religious, non-sectarian, military, theme-based, etc.)
Type of farewell - family, family and friends and/or community gathering
Location of service, ceremony, tribute, visitation, etc.
Casket type: metal, wood, orthodox, etc.
Flowers and/or charitable donations
Readings, favorite poems, literature or scriptures
Cemetery location and choices
Final Permanent Memorialisation - A tribute to a life lived and a permanent record for future generations
Estate planning and documentation of all personal information (e.g. Credit cards, insurance, investments, pensions etc.) that will need to be followed through with after death
Reception and catering arrangements
You have control over all of these details and the financial responsibility for your arrangements and can plan for these ahead of time!
Talking to your parents about Pre-Planning
If you are considering pre-planning for your parents, you may be wondering how to broach this delicate subject. The following may help you:
A parent asks you to be an executor or you already are the executor. This is an obvious opportunity to discuss the subject of final arrangements and to utilise the services of professionals to help you.
Your parent brings up the subject. This isn't all that unusual, especially if there have been recent deaths of friends or loved ones. It is important that you listen carefully, taking note of their wishes and concerns so that you can integrate these into the Remembrance Preplanning Process?.
Your parent is seriously ill. Obviously, this is a very sensitive scenario and one that must not be approached on the basis of giving up hope for recovery. Rather, the emphasis is on making sure their last wishes and final goodbye are satisfied.
The subject comes up through an experience. Many times, attending a funeral or visiting a cemetery will provide an opportunity to ask your parent about his or her wishes.